CRI Radio: Public Service Announcements

You're listening to CRI Radio. Tell me, neighbor, have you been seeing doors where they shouldn't be? Perhaps a mahogany portal in the middle of the freeway, or a cellar door appearing on your ceiling? And those noises, like a wet sponge hitting a radiator? Don't let it ruffle your feathers. At the Cascadia Resonance Institute, we specialize in taking care of that pesky door situation. In fact, we're collectors. We'll take any extra doors you have laying around, hinges, knobs, and those screaming mechanisms included. Just bring them to your local CRI facility. No questions asked, no dimensions refused. We're here to help. The Cascadia Resonance Institute. We're here to help.

You're listening to CRI Radio. Are you tired of the three-dimensional grind? Do you have an unquenchable thirst for the truth and a high tolerance for low-frequency humming? Then the Cascadia Resonance Institute wants you. We are currently seeking lab assistants, containment specialists, and deep-listen technicians. Residence with high-voltage anomalies is a plus, but a willing spirit is all you truly need to join our family. We offer competitive benefits, including mandatory memory care and state-of-the-art lead-lined vests. Contact your local facility to see if a career with the CRI is right for your unique molecular makeup. We're here to help. The Cascadia Resonance Institute. We're here to help.

You're listening to CRI Radio. Progress, friends, requires more than just genius. It requires your support. The Cascadia Resonance Institute is now accepting public donations to fund Project Echo 12. Please visit cascadiaresonance.org and click that big beautiful donate button. Remember, your contribution is entirely tax deductible and goes directly towards stabilizing the local reality grid. A small price to pay for a world that stays exactly where you left it. Now you can finally be a part of the solution. Help us keep the silence silent. We're here to help. We're here to help. We're here to help.